Around this time a year ago, I was feeling down about pretty much everything going on in my life. I was dealing with depression and struggling to learn in school. I messaged some close cousins of mine about alternatives to attending college. Maybe I’ll just take a break for a year and work. Maybe I’ll switch majors. Maybe I’ll just get my AA degree. Maybe I’ll just find a job in town.
I tried to think of anything to avoid working hard. I started skipping classes often. I used my depression as an excuse to be lazy and lay in bed all day. It was a crippling mindset. I didn’t want to try anymore. I was extremely close to dropping out of college, but ultimately made the decision to continue going to school and registered for spring quarter. It was mostly out of fear of disappointing my parents. I was already so close to finishing my degree and I didn’t want to waste more time or get caught up in a working a dead-end job. There was no backup plan. For me, college was my only plan for the longest time and I had to stick to it. After getting through winter quarter I nearly lost my financial aid due to poor academic standing. Instead of getting even more down on myself, I panicked. But this type of panic helped propel me forward. I absolutely had to do well. I had to work hard.
A year later, here I am, not too far away from graduating with my Bachelor’s degree in Visual Communication Design. I’ve come a long way. I’ve cried a lot of nights. I’ve pulled countless numbers of 36-48 hour days and probably will continue to do so up until my last day of school. Even now I still (only half-jokingly) say that I want to quit school and am going to drop out.
I understand and truly believe that college isn’t for everyone. A lot of people do great getting vocational jobs or going to trade schools, or work their way up in a company. And I believe that it’s totally legitimate for people to take breaks from school because college can be so mentally and emotionally draining while we have other things going on in our life. But I also want to say that showing up is half the battle. The other half is putting in the work; and then you have the golden formula for success.
I attended two summer classes this past month. Having to wake up around 5am every morning and leaving the house by 6, I had to discipline myself. It is not the same as having a 7:30am class during the regular school year. While everyone else is sleeping in and enjoying their summer break throughout the day, I forced myself to get up early every day and attend school which was over an hour commute by bus. I began to understand more of my dad’s daily morning routine: sitting alone on the couch in silence, holding his hot cup of coffee. My mornings weren’t the same, but the process itself – enjoying the sun; hearing the birds chirping; the silence of my own thoughts… The loneliness that wasn’t necessarily lonely.
My classes start at 7:30 in the morning and I wasn’t done until nearly 3 in the afternoon. The closer I get to graduation (and I’m already a year behind), the more I convince myself to keep persevering. I know I need to do this, became my mindset.
Ever since nearly losing my financial aid (due to poor academic standing), I’ve been more scared of failure than ever before. I’ve had to slap myself around and give myself a reality check. For a long time I used my depression as an excuse to do poorly in school. I’m not saying that it’s always an excuse because depression is mentally crippling. But for myself, I knew I was just being lazy and falling behind is what made me anxious and depressed. I knew that I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough.
Not only did summer quarter help me grow mentally, it kept me busy and challenged me. I felt good being productive and having something to work towards with deadlines because I know that even if I have goals, I give myself too much time to procrastinate on achieving them. I highly encourage more people to take summer classes- whether they’re for fun or credits going towards your degree. It teaches you discipline when most others aren’t attending school. You spend your time differently than a regular summer sleeping in until 2pm or going to the beach on the weekdays. It helps you learn about yourself.
Earlier this year I was in a VCD 3 (Visual Communication Design) class. During this course our instructor had everyone in our class work with multiple clients/organizations to design something for them. One of these clients included the Kalispel Tribe of Indians and Kalispel Natural Resources, which are both local to the Spokane area. Our instructor told us that the head of this project, Archaeologist, Kendra Maroney, would be choosing someone’s coloring book to use and distribute to local schools and children ages K-5th grade.
For this project we were required to design a 16-page coloring book (including the front and back cover) with activities and images that relate to the Kalispel tribe. The native language of their tribe is Salish, and we were required to include some of the Salish words and spelling in the book. There was no outline or text for us to go off of other than “these are what we want to see in the coloring book” and we had to go from there. The endless possibilities were both a great opportunity but also frustrating since we didn’t know how to assess our work until group critiques and ultimately, when we’d turn it in to see whose work would get chosen.
I remember thinking, “oh, I won’t get it. I don’t have to work hard.” Of course, I still had to work hard to get a good grade on the project, but having my coloring book chosen was way over my head. I knew that I was up against a bunch of other talented people. Some worked in groups, and others worked alone. Being me I decided to work alone. Throughout the few weeks we had to do this assignment we had benchmarks. I remember that during the first or second benchmark critique we were supposed to have all of our sketches done and at least half of our designs iterated digitally and printed. Well, once again, being me I embarrassingly only had two done. Everyone else had 8 pages or more printed out of their illustrations. Everyone else’s work drew up a lot of inspiration for me and helped me kind of see if I was on the right track with mine – although obviously I wasn’t because of how far behind I was! Luckily, I wasn’t the only one with only two prints done. Another girl, Renae, also showed up with two pages printed out. Our instructor told us that we don’t have to panic because we still had some time but to really pick up the pace with our work.
By the next benchmark, everyone’s final coloring book pages were shown before the final viewing with Kendra (which would then be printed as an actual booklet). Everyone’s coloring books included a variety of images to color, mazes, crosswords, puzzles, “I spy” spreads, facts about the Kalispel tribe, and more.
I’m sure that by the final presentation day with Kendra I was probably sleep deprived and stressed to the max. If I recall correctly, I wore just enough makeup to cover up the exhaustion and a red cardigan. I remember telling myself to wear red to stand out more. But why would I tell myself that if I knew I wasn’t going to get picked? Well, if I must admit, there was a small glimmer of hope that maybe my work was worthy. But I didn’t want to admit that to myself quite yet in case I wasn’t chosen and ended up being really bummed out about it.
I already had three copies of my coloring book printed and I actually almost went home because I wasn’t quite sure that was our presentation day. Luckily I had the same instructor for two classes and confirmed it. By the time the presentation came around, each person had to go through a slideshow of their pages and explain their specific design choices. We were graded on overall completion, execution, cohesiveness, and if it met the requirements we were asked of.
When it was my turn I nervously went up and tried to project my voice as I spoke. I’m sure that my voice was shaking and I stuttered a few times but I got through it. One compliment I got from Kendra was that she especially liked my archeology page. Yay! I cheered in my head. Even if I wasn’t chosen, at least I got a compliment. The funny thing is that the archeology spread was the one I did last and felt the least passionate about. I thought it was just “meh” and I wasn’t even sure if I was doing it quite right.
Come two or three weeks later, I… wasn’t in class. I forget if I was sick or just plainly skipped class but I got a text from a classmate saying my coloring had been chosen! I felt bad that I wasn’t there but I was so excited. Honored, you could say. I also received a Kalispel Tribe cap and flash drive. Turns out I wasn’t the only one whose coloring book was of Kendra’s liking. Renae- the other girl who only had two pages during the first benchmark- had also been chosen! I had gotten to know her during the last few weeks of the quarter since we were in a final group project together. I was proud of us! Perhaps we have the same workflow and can produce good work under pressure, I thought.
Before the end of the quarter I was back in contact with Kendra to talk about final edits for the coloring book before I’d get paid. Wait, what? Paid? I’m getting paid for something I did? Like what an actual designer would do? I was surprised and grateful in so many ways. Thankfully there were no crazy changes, just some things here and there that were requested and I chose to make a few extra adjustments myself.
After filling out and emailing a vendor form during the summer, I was paid within a few weeks.
I was recently updated that 3,000 copies of my artwork were printed just last month! The coloring books were shared with the Kalispel Tribe’s Language Program, the Salish Emersion School (K-5 grade), and the Camas Early Learning Center (Preschool age). They will also be distributed at the Museum of Arts and Culture for their annual Archeology Day on Saturday, October 5th , 2019. The coloring books will also be shared throughout local schools in Pend Oreille County, Bonner County, and Spokane County.
Months later, I am still ecstatic about this achievement. I know that in the following years I will still be proud to be part of the project and have made a difference in my community. Being paid was just a bonus!
Original sketches for back and front cover
Images I took of my coloring book during the second to last critique
It’s not that I’m dissing on the person that is Angela’s singing voice, but I feel like for the show it’s nothing that particularly interesting or unique. Especially for her song All I Want (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDVJIHdUv-8) during the Mars Brightest competition, it was too peppy for me and like something you’d hear from a Barbie movie (not that I dislike Barbie movies LOL). Especially because it was the song that Angela was performing against GGK’s “Gravity Bounce,” it didn’t seem like something that would have won me over. Angela’s overall performance with her walking around the stage and moving her hands in an “I don’t know” fashion also wasn’t impressive and I don’t think she had any particular stage presence. I could watch GGK dance forever. And yes, I’m critiquing it as though it were a real-life human performance!
However, All I Want was an important part of the show where it conveys her emotions and relationship with/towards Tao, her music producer. You can infer this in the following lyrics:
“But the one I desire is the one that just doesn’t care. It’s not fair“
“But you’re the only one that passes by; Oh, I wish that I could read your mind”
“It’s like you don’t see me at all Why won’t you love me? I know that I’m worthy But right now you make me feel small”
We learn Tao is very “robot-like” and in episode 21 Tao says and acknowledges that ever since he was a child he’s lacked emotions. This was his purpose for studying the human mind and becoming a music producer to begin with – to better understand human emotion in hopes of obtaining some of his own. I also believe that Angela feels a sense of dependency on Tao; not only to make her a famous singer but to understand her emotions and be there for her. I don’t think that the relationship between Tao and Angela is much more than up-and-coming artist and music producer, however I do see some sort of romance aspect to it. I would hope to at least. I think it has more to do with them helping each other grow as people.
On a side note: You can notice that Tao pays some attention to Carole and Tuesday’s performance on the show when he is up in his office, and even attends the show the following day in order to talk to them. All he asks is “who writes your songs? They’re not written by AI?” And after the girls answer he leaves. In this scene you can tell there’s something that sparked in him from listening to their music. Something that made him feel what he hadn’t before with AI-produced music and lyrics.
I do think that once the show progressed and Angela performed “Lights Go Out” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8zgTcDTZ50) with DJ Ertegun I began to enjoy her voice more. Then again the style of music is more my personal preference.
What do you think of Angela and Tao’s relationship? Whose music is your favorite to listen to so far?
Sooo, if you don’t want to know what the entire plot and movie is about you probably shouldn’t watch the trailer. Heck, you probably shouldn’t even look at the movie poster but oops (here it is). This review is also going to be all spoilers so if you want to waste your time watching this movie or have already wasted your time watching the movie, feel free to read on.
I gotta say, I don’t think that this was the strongest comeback for Brenda Song, but luckily it’s Netflix and there was enough hype about it that people have been watching (like Birdbox, oh God- minus the funny meme content). Brenda Song plays the female lead of Jennifer and Mike Vogel plays the male lead of Russell Williams. From the opening scene, Jennifer is seen at a rest stop trying to make a call in a telephone box.
From the get-go here are my “I’m docking off points” pointers:
Why did she get out of the car? Did she run out of gas? She has a higher chance of getting away if she just kept driving to a police station, etc.
She proceeds to run away, giving her stalker time to tie the back end of her car to the front of their car
Jennifer runs back to the car after being chased and hiding in the bathroom stall, only to repeatedly have to start her car (ummm, her car was already started? Did she have to re-start it?) Also, how damn cliche of her car to stop working as she’s trying to get away
I don’t know why she thought she could get away when there was another car parked behind her and she would have had to drive forward (towards the person trying to kill her) and around to escape- which we found out she can’t because her car is hooked
And of course then she runs out and gets hit by another car which makes her lose her memory and ends up in the hospital. Wait, is this a K-drama?
At first I was confused. “Was Russell counting on her losing her memory?” I thought. But towards the end of the movie when his real identity is revealed (as a psycho and obsessive office co-worker by the name of Ryan Gaerity) he admits to Jennifer that he was planning to kill her. However, this changed when he realized Jennifer had lost her memory. He believed he was “given a chance” to be with her and essentially play as her husband.
Another thing I didn’t understand is why she didn’t try to contact any other friends or family. Surely she remembers other people in her life other than her parents? Yes, Russell played off being her husband and maybe it’s just me but I wouldn’t feel comfortable going home with someone I don’t remember.
I kind of forget where she starts to find things fishy. Maybe the triggers and mini flashbacks, as well as Russell suspiciously being out in the backyard in the middle of the night.
6. Russell’s (Ryan’s) photoshop work was on point, what the hell? When did he have the time to learn all this? Did he pay someone to photoshop all the photos? And if he did hire someone, did they just not ask any questions?
7. My OCD kicked in with the fact that he didn’t rename some of his images and it was just a long line of numbers (I know I’m being knit picky here, but come on!)
8. The second half of the movie was just Jennifer running around the house trying to get away only to be recaptured multiple times and escape again which I found to be somewhat annoying.
9. When Detective Frank Page went to the house to investigate, how did he realize right away that the sign was covered with a new one? Did he just so happen to notice the corner peeling in the corner? Not a flop, but not something I would have thought of.
10. I wasn’t completely feeling the chemistry between Jennifer and the real Russell. Yes, there was a scene she was looking at old video clips of them on her old(?) phone, and her flashbacks of their wedding and them having sex… but it didn’t make me that emotional.
11. The flashback sex scene of what implied Russell eating her out. LOL. I think it was supposed to be sexy but it was cringe for me. Flop.
Overall I’d give this movie a 2/5. It was too predictable and the trailer gave away the whole plot. I also wasn’t impressed by the acting, not that it was terrible. Again, I gave the score that I did for the main points I discussed above.
What did you think of the movie and what’s your personal rating?
In episode 11 “Tsuzumi Mansion”, Zenitsu is reintroduced to the anime since the selection. We come to know him as a cowardice and crybaby character. I know that there are plenty of people complaining about him being an annoying character and that he “ruins the anime” but I think that it’s funny and more realistic that someone is so afraid to risk their life killing demons. I think that Zenitsu’s character provides some comedic relief as well.
“How the hell did he survive the selection,” some people may ask. I know that I was wondering the same thing. My theory is that Zenitsu has a personality disorder. I know it may sound weird but hear me out (which coincidentally great hearing is Zenitsu’s special ability as well). In episode 12 when he and the young boy (Shoichi) get separated from Tanjiro and Shoichi’s sister, a second demon appears and begins to chase them. Scared out of his wits, Zenitsu passes out. However, within seconds of nearly being eaten, Zenitsu re-awakens and releases his true power, killing the demon and saving them both. Moments later Zenitsu is back to his usual cowardice self and believes Shoichi saved them, repeatedly thanking and praising him.
I’m not sure if it’s explained in the manga this early on, but I believe that when Zenitsu is in a life or death situation, he goes into his powerful-badass-demon-slayer mode and that’s how he’s been able to survive all this time. The closest assumption I can make is he has ‘dissociative identity disorder’ and the fear/trauma triggers him out into someone strong and able to save others (revealing his true power). Although I’m not saying this is anything like the movie series Split and Glass.
Do you already know the answer behind his strength? Is there a traumatic incident from Zentisu’s past? What are your thoughts?
I am so excited about this anime because it is different from all of the new “isekai” animes that have been coming out this season. The artwork and overall plot is interesting and there is strong character development. Ufotable, the studio behind the television adaptation, have made it extremely accurate to the manga thus far- both in artwork, storyline and even some of the dialogue (published in English by VIZ Media).
Although I feel there are some inconsistencies and plot holes about the demons themselves- how they’re created or turned- Demon Slayer has not disappointed me thus far. Another great thing is that the manga is still continuing so there is plenty of content to go off of for the anime.
At episode 16 of the anime, it is currently in line with chapter 31 of the manga (so about two chapters are covered per episode). Each episode comes out every Saturday.
Here is a list of animes that I liked and loved. Some I just happened to watch and felt neutral about it. I will be breaking them down in individual posts giving reviews and summaries of the animes I’ve watched, (along with spoilers!) These are not listed in any particular order.
From Maylea 