I attended two summer classes this past month. Having to wake up around 5am every morning and leaving the house by 6, I had to discipline myself. It is not the same as having a 7:30am class during the regular school year. While everyone else is sleeping in and enjoying their summer break throughout the day, I forced myself to get up early every day and attend school which was over an hour commute by bus. I began to understand more of my dad’s daily morning routine: sitting alone on the couch in silence, holding his hot cup of coffee. My mornings weren’t the same, but the process itself – enjoying the sun; hearing the birds chirping; the silence of my own thoughts… The loneliness that wasn’t necessarily lonely.
My classes start at 7:30 in the morning and I wasn’t done until nearly 3 in the afternoon. The closer I get to graduation (and I’m already a year behind), the more I convince myself to keep persevering. I know I need to do this, became my mindset.
Ever since nearly losing my financial aid (due to poor academic standing), I’ve been more scared of failure than ever before. I’ve had to slap myself around and give myself a reality check. For a long time I used my depression as an excuse to do poorly in school. I’m not saying that it’s always an excuse because depression is mentally crippling. But for myself, I knew I was just being lazy and falling behind is what made me anxious and depressed. I knew that I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough.
Not only did summer quarter help me grow mentally, it kept me busy and challenged me. I felt good being productive and having something to work towards with deadlines because I know that even if I have goals, I give myself too much time to procrastinate on achieving them. I highly encourage more people to take summer classes- whether they’re for fun or credits going towards your degree. It teaches you discipline when most others aren’t attending school. You spend your time differently than a regular summer sleeping in until 2pm or going to the beach on the weekdays. It helps you learn about yourself.
Earlier this year I was in a VCD 3 (Visual Communication Design) class. During this course our instructor had everyone in our class work with multiple clients/organizations to design something for them. One of these clients included the Kalispel Tribe of Indians and Kalispel Natural Resources, which are both local to the Spokane area. Our instructor told us that the head of this project, Archaeologist, Kendra Maroney, would be choosing someone’s coloring book to use and distribute to local schools and children ages K-5th grade.
For this project we were required to design a 16-page coloring book (including the front and back cover) with activities and images that relate to the Kalispel tribe. The native language of their tribe is Salish, and we were required to include some of the Salish words and spelling in the book. There was no outline or text for us to go off of other than “these are what we want to see in the coloring book” and we had to go from there. The endless possibilities were both a great opportunity but also frustrating since we didn’t know how to assess our work until group critiques and ultimately, when we’d turn it in to see whose work would get chosen.
I remember thinking, “oh, I won’t get it. I don’t have to work hard.” Of course, I still had to work hard to get a good grade on the project, but having my coloring book chosen was way over my head. I knew that I was up against a bunch of other talented people. Some worked in groups, and others worked alone. Being me I decided to work alone. Throughout the few weeks we had to do this assignment we had benchmarks. I remember that during the first or second benchmark critique we were supposed to have all of our sketches done and at least half of our designs iterated digitally and printed. Well, once again, being me I embarrassingly only had two done. Everyone else had 8 pages or more printed out of their illustrations. Everyone else’s work drew up a lot of inspiration for me and helped me kind of see if I was on the right track with mine – although obviously I wasn’t because of how far behind I was! Luckily, I wasn’t the only one with only two prints done. Another girl, Renae, also showed up with two pages printed out. Our instructor told us that we don’t have to panic because we still had some time but to really pick up the pace with our work.
By the next benchmark, everyone’s final coloring book pages were shown before the final viewing with Kendra (which would then be printed as an actual booklet). Everyone’s coloring books included a variety of images to color, mazes, crosswords, puzzles, “I spy” spreads, facts about the Kalispel tribe, and more.
I’m sure that by the final presentation day with Kendra I was probably sleep deprived and stressed to the max. If I recall correctly, I wore just enough makeup to cover up the exhaustion and a red cardigan. I remember telling myself to wear red to stand out more. But why would I tell myself that if I knew I wasn’t going to get picked? Well, if I must admit, there was a small glimmer of hope that maybe my work was worthy. But I didn’t want to admit that to myself quite yet in case I wasn’t chosen and ended up being really bummed out about it.
I already had three copies of my coloring book printed and I actually almost went home because I wasn’t quite sure that was our presentation day. Luckily I had the same instructor for two classes and confirmed it. By the time the presentation came around, each person had to go through a slideshow of their pages and explain their specific design choices. We were graded on overall completion, execution, cohesiveness, and if it met the requirements we were asked of.
When it was my turn I nervously went up and tried to project my voice as I spoke. I’m sure that my voice was shaking and I stuttered a few times but I got through it. One compliment I got from Kendra was that she especially liked my archeology page. Yay! I cheered in my head. Even if I wasn’t chosen, at least I got a compliment. The funny thing is that the archeology spread was the one I did last and felt the least passionate about. I thought it was just “meh” and I wasn’t even sure if I was doing it quite right.
Come two or three weeks later, I… wasn’t in class. I forget if I was sick or just plainly skipped class but I got a text from a classmate saying my coloring had been chosen! I felt bad that I wasn’t there but I was so excited. Honored, you could say. I also received a Kalispel Tribe cap and flash drive. Turns out I wasn’t the only one whose coloring book was of Kendra’s liking. Renae- the other girl who only had two pages during the first benchmark- had also been chosen! I had gotten to know her during the last few weeks of the quarter since we were in a final group project together. I was proud of us! Perhaps we have the same workflow and can produce good work under pressure, I thought.
Before the end of the quarter I was back in contact with Kendra to talk about final edits for the coloring book before I’d get paid. Wait, what? Paid? I’m getting paid for something I did? Like what an actual designer would do? I was surprised and grateful in so many ways. Thankfully there were no crazy changes, just some things here and there that were requested and I chose to make a few extra adjustments myself.
After filling out and emailing a vendor form during the summer, I was paid within a few weeks.
I was recently updated that 3,000 copies of my artwork were printed just last month! The coloring books were shared with the Kalispel Tribe’s Language Program, the Salish Emersion School (K-5 grade), and the Camas Early Learning Center (Preschool age). They will also be distributed at the Museum of Arts and Culture for their annual Archeology Day on Saturday, October 5th , 2019. The coloring books will also be shared throughout local schools in Pend Oreille County, Bonner County, and Spokane County.
Months later, I am still ecstatic about this achievement. I know that in the following years I will still be proud to be part of the project and have made a difference in my community. Being paid was just a bonus!
Original sketches for back and front cover
Images I took of my coloring book during the second to last critique
It’s not that I’m dissing on the person that is Angela’s singing voice, but I feel like for the show it’s nothing that particularly interesting or unique. Especially for her song All I Want (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDVJIHdUv-8) during the Mars Brightest competition, it was too peppy for me and like something you’d hear from a Barbie movie (not that I dislike Barbie movies LOL). Especially because it was the song that Angela was performing against GGK’s “Gravity Bounce,” it didn’t seem like something that would have won me over. Angela’s overall performance with her walking around the stage and moving her hands in an “I don’t know” fashion also wasn’t impressive and I don’t think she had any particular stage presence. I could watch GGK dance forever. And yes, I’m critiquing it as though it were a real-life human performance!
However, All I Want was an important part of the show where it conveys her emotions and relationship with/towards Tao, her music producer. You can infer this in the following lyrics:
“But the one I desire is the one that just doesn’t care. It’s not fair“
“But you’re the only one that passes by; Oh, I wish that I could read your mind”
“It’s like you don’t see me at all Why won’t you love me? I know that I’m worthy But right now you make me feel small”
We learn Tao is very “robot-like” and in episode 21 Tao says and acknowledges that ever since he was a child he’s lacked emotions. This was his purpose for studying the human mind and becoming a music producer to begin with – to better understand human emotion in hopes of obtaining some of his own. I also believe that Angela feels a sense of dependency on Tao; not only to make her a famous singer but to understand her emotions and be there for her. I don’t think that the relationship between Tao and Angela is much more than up-and-coming artist and music producer, however I do see some sort of romance aspect to it. I would hope to at least. I think it has more to do with them helping each other grow as people.
On a side note: You can notice that Tao pays some attention to Carole and Tuesday’s performance on the show when he is up in his office, and even attends the show the following day in order to talk to them. All he asks is “who writes your songs? They’re not written by AI?” And after the girls answer he leaves. In this scene you can tell there’s something that sparked in him from listening to their music. Something that made him feel what he hadn’t before with AI-produced music and lyrics.
I do think that once the show progressed and Angela performed “Lights Go Out” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8zgTcDTZ50) with DJ Ertegun I began to enjoy her voice more. Then again the style of music is more my personal preference.
What do you think of Angela and Tao’s relationship? Whose music is your favorite to listen to so far?
In episode 11 “Tsuzumi Mansion”, Zenitsu is reintroduced to the anime since the selection. We come to know him as a cowardice and crybaby character. I know that there are plenty of people complaining about him being an annoying character and that he “ruins the anime” but I think that it’s funny and more realistic that someone is so afraid to risk their life killing demons. I think that Zenitsu’s character provides some comedic relief as well.
“How the hell did he survive the selection,” some people may ask. I know that I was wondering the same thing. My theory is that Zenitsu has a personality disorder. I know it may sound weird but hear me out (which coincidentally great hearing is Zenitsu’s special ability as well). In episode 12 when he and the young boy (Shoichi) get separated from Tanjiro and Shoichi’s sister, a second demon appears and begins to chase them. Scared out of his wits, Zenitsu passes out. However, within seconds of nearly being eaten, Zenitsu re-awakens and releases his true power, killing the demon and saving them both. Moments later Zenitsu is back to his usual cowardice self and believes Shoichi saved them, repeatedly thanking and praising him.
I’m not sure if it’s explained in the manga this early on, but I believe that when Zenitsu is in a life or death situation, he goes into his powerful-badass-demon-slayer mode and that’s how he’s been able to survive all this time. The closest assumption I can make is he has ‘dissociative identity disorder’ and the fear/trauma triggers him out into someone strong and able to save others (revealing his true power). Although I’m not saying this is anything like the movie series Split and Glass.
Do you already know the answer behind his strength? Is there a traumatic incident from Zentisu’s past? What are your thoughts?
I am so excited about this anime because it is different from all of the new “isekai” animes that have been coming out this season. The artwork and overall plot is interesting and there is strong character development. Ufotable, the studio behind the television adaptation, have made it extremely accurate to the manga thus far- both in artwork, storyline and even some of the dialogue (published in English by VIZ Media).
Although I feel there are some inconsistencies and plot holes about the demons themselves- how they’re created or turned- Demon Slayer has not disappointed me thus far. Another great thing is that the manga is still continuing so there is plenty of content to go off of for the anime.
At episode 16 of the anime, it is currently in line with chapter 31 of the manga (so about two chapters are covered per episode). Each episode comes out every Saturday.
With social media, and especially Instagram, it’s so easy to put up an idealistic life or persona. It’s all about how the picture looks, the aesthetic appeal, the angle, this and that. Even myself, there are times I become so obsessed with taking photos simply for social media content. I often end up comparing myself to other girls I see online and sometimes even force myself to take a break from scrolling through Instagram. I’ve always looked at other women and thought “I want what she has.” Her charisma, her beauty, her popularity, her smile, her intelligence, her talent, her body… I’ve always wanted to be one of the popular girls or one of the cool kids but I’m the exact opposite. I probably don’t come off as friendly unless you approach me first.
“I’m like an onion, I have layers” so it’s hard for people to get to know me. And that’s because of my fear of losing people or being backstabbed, as well as the feeling of being easily replaceable. I’ve only kept two really close friends since middle school and the rest are just family. I’m that girl without a friend group. My boyfriend’s friends I consider my friends too but it’s not same. I know that I could try to force myself to change and be more outgoing but would that truly make me happy if it doesn’t come to me naturally? I’d feel like I’m keeping up a constant facade to appeal to people (come on, that’s what social media is for.) Just remember that a picture is worth a thousand words. You have a story, and there is so much more to you than just what is shared online.
In honor of it being Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, I would like to start off by sharing something that happened back in March. Nkauj Hmoob Spokane, my dance group that is organized and choreographed by my friend Irene Vwj was nominated and won the group Cultural Awareness award at the Chase Youth Awards 2019! We were recognized for performing at local public events in order to share the Hmong culture with Spokane. My sisters, cousin and I accepted the award on behalf of Nkauj Hmoob Spokane since our other members were not present (my mom is the one holding the award in the first photo). I was so hyped up that I was ready to give an acceptance speech! (Which they don’t do at the Chase Youth Awards, just hand them out.)
I would like to share something that came across my mind though. My entire life I have been made fun of for being Hmong but not knowing the language- I don’t fluently speak it or understand much, nor can I read or write in Hmong. Despite this, it has not stopped me or my siblings from participating in our local Spokane Hmong community. (rhetorical question) You may understand and speak Hmong your entire life, but what are you doing for your community? For the Hmong people and our legacy?
Although I don’t know all of the traditions and customs or language of my people, I know enough to take pride in being Hmong and wanting our culture to flourish. Not just by preserving it within the Hmong community, but by telling others about our story as well. I think it’s important to make a change by having a voice for our people, and to educate others about who the Hmong people are. Even if you don’t help with community events, simply showing up and showing that you’re a part of the community is so great!
Again, I am so proud of how far Nkauj Hmoob Spokane has come and honored that we were awarded for Cultural Awareness this year.
(We plan to perform at the Chase Youth Awards 2020 but is TBD.)
From Maylea 